Let me first start this brief blog by saying I'm not a huge Halloween guy. I do not mind the holiday, I do think it's fun and will still participate but I also feel like the dressing up aspect is more of a children's holiday regardless of where it's origins are rooted. Dressing up was never my thing plus my costume selection is severely limited by the fact that without my glasses I'm blind as your Nana trying to read a menu in any lighting less than a spotlight. I say this only to mention that my coming judgements are said in jest because I'm not any better, but the truth must be spoken!
As I got into my 20's it was still fun because all the ladies just took a normal character, added "slutty" to the description and voila! There's their costume. Slutty nurse, slutty cop, etc, etc... And when you tried to slide in "naughty" instead of "slutty" you weren't fooling anyone. It was easy to get dressed up when you're still looking for that special naughty librarian to take home to meet the parents... But as I got older, the desire to source clothing I'll wear uncomfortably for a few hours of my life has worn off, regardless of how many naughty astro-physicists are at this years shindig.
Now that I'm in my 30's and have children, the holiday seems custom made for them. Dress them up in cute little outfits and parade them around, filling them with way too much sugar along the way. It's awesome. As for my costumes, I'm going to be about as lazy as the rules allow and though I realize this, I find it funny that those adults that still 'love Halloween' are equally as (un)dedicated to their costume. So I've compiled my list of the 10 laziest Halloween costumes. (In no particular order)
1. The Athlete.
Most of us have a jersey of some kind, some of us have enough clothing in our closets to look like a faux-athlete. Putting on your Marshawn Lynch jersey does not make your costume Marshawn Lynch. Get a wig, some sunglasses or some BeastMode shoes.... The devil is in the details.
2. The Worker.
Whether you're a construction worker, lumberjack or office professional, these are clothes you have immediate access to. Doesn't count as a costume if you wear it to work anyway.
3. The Pun.
Although I can give credit to the creativity, most of the time it's a stretch. An example of a good one I can remember is a giant lego block with a Rooster on it... The classic Cock Block. Bravo to that. But if I have to solve a brain teaser to figure out what you are, it's not that good.
4. The Witch.
Although classic monsters are always in style, you need to commit if you're going to do it. Don't put on a pointy hat and a black shawl and claim to be magic. You better have a broom and some warts if you want points.
5. The Pirate.
Same as above... It's a Halloween staple, but don't put on eye patch and the same bandana that sits at the bottom of your drawer and tell me you're a buccaneer. Buccaneers don't wear Spiderman T-shirts.
6. The Hippy.
Actually this one isn't bad if you commit. A nice afro, the right colored glasses and you can make this work. But again, don't tell me you're about peace and unity if you're wearing loose pants and don't look stoned.
7. The Musician.
Eyeliner makes the costume.
8. The Princess.
Fufu dress and a wand huh? Bippity Boppity Booooooo.
9. The Cat or The Devil
Drawing whiskers on and putting a headband with cat ears does not constitute as a costume. Peter Criss did that every day for 30 years with full makeup. Same goes for devil horn headbands and a shitty $1 tail.
10. The Clark Kent. (This is actually always on my list of go-to's... lol)
A superman shirt, a button up and tie and some slacks and you're golden. I assure you, I've worn this identical outfit to work more than once. Although as a comic book nerd, I consider this costume awesome, it is nearly the laziest you can get for a costume.
With that said.... Clark Kent may be on the docket next October. Hopefully Justice League doesn't ruin that for me.
So the moral of the story? No real moral. I am guilty of trying to minimize my efforts for Halloween too, so don't be sour if you have been one or every one of these costumes at one point or another. Just realize you can do better... ;)
Monday, October 31, 2016
Monday, October 17, 2016
Experiencing "Nah"-stalgia
As a kid, I did all the normal stuff kids do. We went camping and fishing, but not like the movies... I wasn't out hunting with my 'Pa at the crack of dawn every November. But you know what I did a shit ton of? Playing and watching sports.
I vividly remember going to Cheney, Washington (hours from anywhere) to watch training camp with my brother and cousins; I remember sitting at the very top row in the Kingdome and sliding down the cement embankments during Seahawks games. I remember getting pulled out of school to the one-game play-in game against the Angels in '95. If memory serves, you could even smoke inside at one point!
I say all that to illustrate that when I was a kid, The Kingdome embodied a place where people (the males in my family in particular) connected in a way that resonated both figuratively and physically at a common tone. During game day, the building was sacred and it was a place where sanctity and competition were celebrated in the form of unity over a sports team and the routines that came with it. During those handful of hours, you lent your support to people you'd likely never meet but felt loyal to none the less; And you held that same blind comradery with everyone around you. In a way it was freeing and it was how I got to know my dad and brother. So in my head, the stadium was pure in a way...
I mean, I thought this until I realized that my memories ignore the fact that I was a kid that was blind to the non-sense that has surely been around forever.... I say that in jest, but I figured out something today that has eluded me for a while now.
My whole life we've had season tickets to the Seahawks. Because of that fact, the novelty of going to a game in person is not what it might be to someone who can count the number of games they've attended on one hand. And when I see the way some people's eyes light up when they talk about going to the game, I wonder why I've lost that same fire. I love the Seahawks... Hands down my favorite team of all time and there is no question that watching all of their games is a priority of mine. But why am I indifferent to going to the games these days?
I figured it out and here is a list I'm considering to be plausible reasons for my desire to stay home for the games.
Examples derived from Seattle Seahawks vs. Atlanta Falcons game 10/16/2016
-The Know It All
This guy constantly yells at both the refs and coaches as to what they should be doing. He knows the routes from each play and how they're intended to be ran as well as what defensive packages they should be using. Today after broken coverage led to an Atlanta touchdown a gentleman was yelling about how we need to "stop running so much fucking man to man, man!"... Meanwhile, anyone who played a down of defensive football would know by looking at the players positioning that we were in zone coverage. Now consider you're in a meeting where someone continues to complain that Alaska is not a federally recognized state and cannot be convinced otherwise. How would you deal with this person?
-The Yeller
This guy is pretty self-explanatory. Whether he's yelling "come on" or "that's what I'm talking 'bout babaaaaaay", it's not his 6-inch voice. I know we're at a sporting event and I'm proud of our stadium being known as one of the loudest in the world, but it's all about the timing. If the stadium has fallen to a calm due to a time out or a challenge, this is not the time to scream from a hundred yards away to your intended conversation partner. Nobody is impressed with how hype you can get during a timeout.
-The Swearer
I'm the first to admit that I'm a potty mouth by choice. I love the shits and fucks of the world, but I also know that it has it's time and place. I'm comfortable dropping a 'shit' in a casual conversation but it's how you present the shit that makes it palatable. Yelling "you fucking piece of shit" repeatedly at someone who cannot hear you seems unnecessary, no?
-The Selfie Girls
I don't care if you call this sexist, it is data I've collected over my adult life and I feel comfortable arguing the point, so let's get that out of the way. Women who go to a football game and do not pay attention are the worst. In no way am I saying they do not deserve to be there or that this complaint is restricted to humans without a penis, I'm just saying that it's obnoxious to have people Snapchatting their time at the game instead of watching it. It doesn't infringe on anyone's experience, it's just OB-noxious. How would it look if I went to a ballet and spent the whole time taking selfies and playing Candy Crush? Disclaimer: When I start seeing men doing this, I will change the heading to Selfie People.
-The Bros/The Lush
I love my friends. I love going to games with my friends. I can enjoy tying one on with my friends. What I don't like is when my friends drink too much and act like assholes. The Bros are the collective group of adult('ish) men whose sole purpose for game day is to drink beer and watch football. Although my window for dealing with drunk strangers is shrinking (I don't drink much), I have zero issue with people getting hammered and cheering their hearts out at the game. It's that wolfpack mentality a group of guys get when they get too keyed up. Typically the group starts to employ all of the above qualities and as they get more and more excited, they start to get rowdy then you start to get annoyed with having to dodge their pinball'esque movements as you clutch your still hot coffee. Get crazy boys, but realize you're sharing a confined space and not everyone is as excited that you ate all of your buddies garlic fries while he was in the bathroom. Similarly, The Lush is the single guy in a group (or alone) who is doing everything he can to make it through the game without puking or passing out. He'll bump into you with his boozy breath, spill his drinks and say things like "Albert Pujols should be playing tight end!"
-The Father of 2 Who Complains About Going To a Stadium
In reflecting on going to the stadium, it's apparent that I am diving into a sea of people that represent life in all shapes and smells... On the whole, the people are great and the environment is electric, but I'd just as soon be watching on my couch with my drooling baby on my shoulder than sitting in the cold with a drooling stranger on my shoulder.
I vividly remember going to Cheney, Washington (hours from anywhere) to watch training camp with my brother and cousins; I remember sitting at the very top row in the Kingdome and sliding down the cement embankments during Seahawks games. I remember getting pulled out of school to the one-game play-in game against the Angels in '95. If memory serves, you could even smoke inside at one point!
I say all that to illustrate that when I was a kid, The Kingdome embodied a place where people (the males in my family in particular) connected in a way that resonated both figuratively and physically at a common tone. During game day, the building was sacred and it was a place where sanctity and competition were celebrated in the form of unity over a sports team and the routines that came with it. During those handful of hours, you lent your support to people you'd likely never meet but felt loyal to none the less; And you held that same blind comradery with everyone around you. In a way it was freeing and it was how I got to know my dad and brother. So in my head, the stadium was pure in a way...
I mean, I thought this until I realized that my memories ignore the fact that I was a kid that was blind to the non-sense that has surely been around forever.... I say that in jest, but I figured out something today that has eluded me for a while now.
My whole life we've had season tickets to the Seahawks. Because of that fact, the novelty of going to a game in person is not what it might be to someone who can count the number of games they've attended on one hand. And when I see the way some people's eyes light up when they talk about going to the game, I wonder why I've lost that same fire. I love the Seahawks... Hands down my favorite team of all time and there is no question that watching all of their games is a priority of mine. But why am I indifferent to going to the games these days?
I figured it out and here is a list I'm considering to be plausible reasons for my desire to stay home for the games.
Examples derived from Seattle Seahawks vs. Atlanta Falcons game 10/16/2016
-The Know It All
This guy constantly yells at both the refs and coaches as to what they should be doing. He knows the routes from each play and how they're intended to be ran as well as what defensive packages they should be using. Today after broken coverage led to an Atlanta touchdown a gentleman was yelling about how we need to "stop running so much fucking man to man, man!"... Meanwhile, anyone who played a down of defensive football would know by looking at the players positioning that we were in zone coverage. Now consider you're in a meeting where someone continues to complain that Alaska is not a federally recognized state and cannot be convinced otherwise. How would you deal with this person?
-The Yeller
This guy is pretty self-explanatory. Whether he's yelling "come on" or "that's what I'm talking 'bout babaaaaaay", it's not his 6-inch voice. I know we're at a sporting event and I'm proud of our stadium being known as one of the loudest in the world, but it's all about the timing. If the stadium has fallen to a calm due to a time out or a challenge, this is not the time to scream from a hundred yards away to your intended conversation partner. Nobody is impressed with how hype you can get during a timeout.
-The Swearer
I'm the first to admit that I'm a potty mouth by choice. I love the shits and fucks of the world, but I also know that it has it's time and place. I'm comfortable dropping a 'shit' in a casual conversation but it's how you present the shit that makes it palatable. Yelling "you fucking piece of shit" repeatedly at someone who cannot hear you seems unnecessary, no?
-The Selfie Girls
I don't care if you call this sexist, it is data I've collected over my adult life and I feel comfortable arguing the point, so let's get that out of the way. Women who go to a football game and do not pay attention are the worst. In no way am I saying they do not deserve to be there or that this complaint is restricted to humans without a penis, I'm just saying that it's obnoxious to have people Snapchatting their time at the game instead of watching it. It doesn't infringe on anyone's experience, it's just OB-noxious. How would it look if I went to a ballet and spent the whole time taking selfies and playing Candy Crush? Disclaimer: When I start seeing men doing this, I will change the heading to Selfie People.
-The Bros/The Lush
I love my friends. I love going to games with my friends. I can enjoy tying one on with my friends. What I don't like is when my friends drink too much and act like assholes. The Bros are the collective group of adult('ish) men whose sole purpose for game day is to drink beer and watch football. Although my window for dealing with drunk strangers is shrinking (I don't drink much), I have zero issue with people getting hammered and cheering their hearts out at the game. It's that wolfpack mentality a group of guys get when they get too keyed up. Typically the group starts to employ all of the above qualities and as they get more and more excited, they start to get rowdy then you start to get annoyed with having to dodge their pinball'esque movements as you clutch your still hot coffee. Get crazy boys, but realize you're sharing a confined space and not everyone is as excited that you ate all of your buddies garlic fries while he was in the bathroom. Similarly, The Lush is the single guy in a group (or alone) who is doing everything he can to make it through the game without puking or passing out. He'll bump into you with his boozy breath, spill his drinks and say things like "Albert Pujols should be playing tight end!"
-The Father of 2 Who Complains About Going To a Stadium
In reflecting on going to the stadium, it's apparent that I am diving into a sea of people that represent life in all shapes and smells... On the whole, the people are great and the environment is electric, but I'd just as soon be watching on my couch with my drooling baby on my shoulder than sitting in the cold with a drooling stranger on my shoulder.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Internet, Introspection, Innnnnjoying the moment?
If you're like me (and if you're reading this blog, chances are I'm making a safe assumption) you are familiar with the internet. Whether it's your email, your favorite news sites or checking Facebook to see how your friends and family are doing, you are using the internet. This is for all intents and purposes an organism of data that co-exists like a global library more or less. A grand analogy of life.
I recently went on vacation to Canada and found the internet access to be limited. Forget the fact that it was shit speed everywhere we went, but some of the sites I tried to read wouldn't even allow me access b/c I was not in the US. Forget the 'vacation = no internet' non sense too b/c I'm not hearing it. The internet is my newspaper, my Time Magazine, my warm blanket. Because the older I get the more I want to consume information. And the internet is just a giant library in my pocket that is filled with horrible content and brilliant work; Sifting through it is an adventure.
This led me to think about net neutrality and how important open access to information is. I cannot fathom the reason I would be unable to read about research being done (US ran, foreign locale) from the neighboring country. Or why I couldn't watch a clip from a UFC fight that previous weekend. Whether it's a cooking blog or a thesis on Nuclear Fusion published in Germany, why is it not all available to everyone? It's on the internet for people to consume!
With that being said, net neutrality is a real concern these days and it doesn't seem like people are even worried. For those of you unfamiliar, the issue is that internet providers are fighting to gain the right to slow down or block content as they see fit. They argue on the principal that it's "their highway" of information, we're just using it. Forget their argument for a minute and consider what it would mean if they had the right to block and slow down content on the internet.........
...........
Ok. Ready for an easy analogy?
You know if you turn on Fox News you get one perspective, then you turn to CNN and get another perspective? You hear the same topic being discussed with vastly different narratives filled with 80% bullshit and fluff and it becomes clear that they've got an agenda... Now imagine that you can't change the channel. You have Fox News internet or you have CNN internet.
Is that the type of information you want available to you? Make no mistake that if the ISP's get control, big money will take over.
Now surprisingly, that's not what my main take away was, that was just a quick fyi for that ass. While thinking about all of this, I got to thinking about the content I do consume. A lot of it is social media; I'm a people watcher. I'm fascinated by people's interactions and lately I've noticed more (it's affected me more), how negative people are on the internet. Why they're that way, anyone can guess, but it's just an expectation to see 75% negative stuff and 25% positive while looking at people interacting on the internet.
Truthfully, recently the negativity was getting to me so much that I was considering dropping all social media all together. Then I realized I'm an adult and can manage life.
The approach is pretty obvious, don't buy into the hateful rhetoric and use your resources to find the good in the world, not the bad; It's a basic tenet of life. Then the internet sort of purifies itself to become that open source of data with the potential for growth of knowledge. Of course you'll find rocks, worms and root systems that screw with your garden of information, but again, sifting through it is the adventure.
Now in the face of all of this introspection on how you view the negativity on the internet, I realized I could be doing better at this in my daily life. We have a baby in brand new house and work is crazy and if you let yourself, you can be deterred by these obstacles. Of course severe windstorms could be coming, but when was the last time you got to sit with your family and play board games by candlelight? Of course you work your ass off and feel under appreciated, but you're not starving and you're moving forward, right?
Life is a series of decisions. You either choose to see the opportunity or you choose to see the obstacles. It's important to see the obstacle but only as your eye line looks beyond it to where you're going next. Besides, life without any obstacles is just going for a walk. Hashtag boring.
So yesterday we all got home from work and as usual we had a dozen things to do in order to get everyone fed, get homework done, get laundry done and the kids ready for bed before we could even sit down. But as I was making dinner in the kitchen, something happened that changed my night. We were both exhausted; I was cooking the pasta sauce and my wife was feeding my son. Soon my wife was singing to my son who couldn't have smiled bigger. Next thing I know my daughter came into the kitchen and was now singing an impressive duet with my wife. My son looked like my buddy Bain in the front row of a Van Halen show. It was the final scene of a Full House episode I'm sure of it.
This made me think about my dad for some reason.
He really enjoyed being with his family so I figured he'd get a kick out of that All-American moment. When I'm red-lining in life, I often wonder what he'd think about stuff and I know he'd tell me to ignore the haters (in 61 year old dad terms) and just find what makes me happy. So whether I'm learning to ignore the hateful politics on the internet or stopping to enjoy a one-night-only duet, I think he'd be proud of what we're building and I think he'd be even more proud that I stopped to enjoy it.
I recently went on vacation to Canada and found the internet access to be limited. Forget the fact that it was shit speed everywhere we went, but some of the sites I tried to read wouldn't even allow me access b/c I was not in the US. Forget the 'vacation = no internet' non sense too b/c I'm not hearing it. The internet is my newspaper, my Time Magazine, my warm blanket. Because the older I get the more I want to consume information. And the internet is just a giant library in my pocket that is filled with horrible content and brilliant work; Sifting through it is an adventure.
This led me to think about net neutrality and how important open access to information is. I cannot fathom the reason I would be unable to read about research being done (US ran, foreign locale) from the neighboring country. Or why I couldn't watch a clip from a UFC fight that previous weekend. Whether it's a cooking blog or a thesis on Nuclear Fusion published in Germany, why is it not all available to everyone? It's on the internet for people to consume!
With that being said, net neutrality is a real concern these days and it doesn't seem like people are even worried. For those of you unfamiliar, the issue is that internet providers are fighting to gain the right to slow down or block content as they see fit. They argue on the principal that it's "their highway" of information, we're just using it. Forget their argument for a minute and consider what it would mean if they had the right to block and slow down content on the internet.........
...........
Ok. Ready for an easy analogy?
You know if you turn on Fox News you get one perspective, then you turn to CNN and get another perspective? You hear the same topic being discussed with vastly different narratives filled with 80% bullshit and fluff and it becomes clear that they've got an agenda... Now imagine that you can't change the channel. You have Fox News internet or you have CNN internet.
Is that the type of information you want available to you? Make no mistake that if the ISP's get control, big money will take over.
Now surprisingly, that's not what my main take away was, that was just a quick fyi for that ass. While thinking about all of this, I got to thinking about the content I do consume. A lot of it is social media; I'm a people watcher. I'm fascinated by people's interactions and lately I've noticed more (it's affected me more), how negative people are on the internet. Why they're that way, anyone can guess, but it's just an expectation to see 75% negative stuff and 25% positive while looking at people interacting on the internet.
Truthfully, recently the negativity was getting to me so much that I was considering dropping all social media all together. Then I realized I'm an adult and can manage life.
The approach is pretty obvious, don't buy into the hateful rhetoric and use your resources to find the good in the world, not the bad; It's a basic tenet of life. Then the internet sort of purifies itself to become that open source of data with the potential for growth of knowledge. Of course you'll find rocks, worms and root systems that screw with your garden of information, but again, sifting through it is the adventure.
Now in the face of all of this introspection on how you view the negativity on the internet, I realized I could be doing better at this in my daily life. We have a baby in brand new house and work is crazy and if you let yourself, you can be deterred by these obstacles. Of course severe windstorms could be coming, but when was the last time you got to sit with your family and play board games by candlelight? Of course you work your ass off and feel under appreciated, but you're not starving and you're moving forward, right?
Life is a series of decisions. You either choose to see the opportunity or you choose to see the obstacles. It's important to see the obstacle but only as your eye line looks beyond it to where you're going next. Besides, life without any obstacles is just going for a walk. Hashtag boring.
So yesterday we all got home from work and as usual we had a dozen things to do in order to get everyone fed, get homework done, get laundry done and the kids ready for bed before we could even sit down. But as I was making dinner in the kitchen, something happened that changed my night. We were both exhausted; I was cooking the pasta sauce and my wife was feeding my son. Soon my wife was singing to my son who couldn't have smiled bigger. Next thing I know my daughter came into the kitchen and was now singing an impressive duet with my wife. My son looked like my buddy Bain in the front row of a Van Halen show. It was the final scene of a Full House episode I'm sure of it.
This made me think about my dad for some reason.
He really enjoyed being with his family so I figured he'd get a kick out of that All-American moment. When I'm red-lining in life, I often wonder what he'd think about stuff and I know he'd tell me to ignore the haters (in 61 year old dad terms) and just find what makes me happy. So whether I'm learning to ignore the hateful politics on the internet or stopping to enjoy a one-night-only duet, I think he'd be proud of what we're building and I think he'd be even more proud that I stopped to enjoy it.
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