You know sometimes I start these blogs with a title already in mind, an understanding or at least an idea of what I want to write about. Sometimes I open this blank page and just stare at it, knowing I want to write, but unsure what about. Sometimes I let that uncertainty deter me from posting. Sometimes I don't.
This time I'm feeling like my inner monologue will suffice for this post. I, like many adults have recently been enduring this joke of a government unravel within weeks of our new POTUS taking office and that really led me to thinking about rattling off my thoughts on that, but you know what?
Why? People are clearly divided on media driven principles and the repetitive posts about who is right and who is wrong are making me want to shoot myself with a nail gun. (I'm not bullet-annoyed yet)
So, instead I will write about a few random thoughts I've had this week.
1. It being Super Bowl week I think I owe it to myself to stop lying to myself and admit something that I've never want to say out loud. It's the type of thing that burns you up inside just thinking of verbalizing the words. But as I've gotten older, my pride has taken a backseat to my integrity and I believe it's time I man up and say it... Tom Brady is the best QB in history.
2. I think my daughter has a photographic memory. She always beats the dog shit out of me at Memory. I know what you're thinking---- memory is likely not your strong suit Cole, which I already took into account! But when my wife, her fighter pilot brother, the doctor father in law and every other person in the family repeatedly get served by our not-even-5-year-old, I think I have a case. Regardless, she's smart as a whip and I'm excitedly proud of my child already. The jury is still out on the one that just rolls around and drools all day.
3. After this Sunday, my excuses evaporate and I can start being productive on Sunday's again. #Bittersweet
4. Matt Ryan better not blow this game.
5. I realized my disdain for my daughter's expectation of instant gratification when it comes to movies and music has made me my father. My daughter asked to listen to a song the other day and although we can easily pull up the song and play it on our phone, it seemingly was not fast enough for her and in that moment I wanted to go buy a tape deck and cassette of her song where it is in the middle of side B so she had to fast forward for 6 minutes just to get to that shit! IN MY DAY......
6. Could you imagine if you had to endure a full tooth tearing through your gums as an adult? How about a full mouth of 'em? Remember growing pains too? (Not the show. RIP Mr. Seaver) Fuck that noise. Kid's are soldiers. No wonder Al Qaeda recruits 'em so young..... Too much?
7. Every year about this time, I remember why I hate Clay Bennet.
8. After seeing the (hundreds?) of thousands of women march after Chump was inaugurated, with zero issues with the cops, I'm convinced that women should do all of the marching. I'll make the signs and watch the game with the kids. Please get me a coffee on the way home.
9. I'm enjoying life right meow.
10. We should've ran the ball.......................
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Tuesday, November 01, 2016
Political Analytics
People, people, people...
DISCLAIMER: I have zero political affiliation with good 'ol Hill and Donny.
With that said- What in the holy hell is going on right now?
As I write this, we're about a week away from election day and the two probable options are Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. This by no means is your typical political assassination on grounds that I'm aiming to further some pointed agenda, this is COMMON FUCKING SENSE. Forget the fact that Donald Trump's entire life has been built around making good business deals which typically entails a fair amount of skill in the art of weaving bullshit baskets, but he has ZERO political experience and is an absolute liability. Then there is Hillary Clinton who for all intents and purposes is built to be the President... I frankly think politically she's not so bad, but it is clear her character and/or her approach leave much to be desired for someone looking to run a world power such as the United States.
I honestly could give two shits about the 'pussy grabbing' comments that came out about Trump because that is like getting stabbed with a random needle and being worried if it will bruise. And to all the people that say "I like him because he's a straight shooter." Please move to Yemen. His statements have never exceeded an elementary level of intellect which means two things... He has no comfort in any of the topics being discussed and even the morons across the country understand what he's saying.
"I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me --and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words." -Trump during his candidacy announcement in June of '15
Please consider the words both spoken and transcribed by our former presidents as you read this. The Gettysburg Address, the Bill of Rights, Kennedy's Inaugural Speech... "I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me." This is who you want to carry that legacy?
Answer: NO.
Now if you're pro-Trump, there is no doubt you're foaming at the mouth considering me some Hillary loving idiot by now. But I fortunately and unfortunately have no love for this Ice Queen either. As I said before, I do think she was built for the hill. She seems like the type of politician that could get stuff done. Now after reading everything about what she may or may not have been up to, I'm wondering how she gained that reputation of a do'er.
She sent some top-secret emails on a private server, ok, I get it, that is not good. Is that something that should nullify all of her other qualities? No. Is that something that should be punished? The answer is absolutely yes. And this is ignoring whatever it is she was trying to hide; I'm simply going on the fact that she's trying to hide something. I'm so god damn sick of politicians creating laws they do not live by. Much like when cops break a law *cough -murder- cough* and somehow are absolved of it much easier than your typical civilian based mainly on their professional position. "Oh, he's a trained police officer so his actions were calculated and measured, so it's less of an issue than a civilian that commits a nearly identical crime." Fuuuuuck that.
These old farts on the hill are making six figures and voting for salary increases while simultaneously voting for budget cuts in schools and social services. There is zero about this that makes me feel like these politicians who are supposed to be representing the people are voting with the people in mind. Sooooo, if an E3 gets court marshaled over sending top-secret info in the wrong manner, why shouldn't the former Secretary of State?
Now, I'm sure you pro-Hillary people are saying that 'nothing was ever proven' followed by some stupid stat about how many resources were put into an investigation that led to nothing. The thing is, James Comey (Director of FBI) made the decision not to indict her, rather just chastise her for her carelessness. Forget that Comey has been covering the Clinton's asses since Whitewater, the mere fact that this email shit is even a topic of investigation makes the details moot for me. Why in Abraham Lincoln's beard would we want someone with this many questionable actions running the country?
Would you go to a restaurant that had been accused of serving cat food in the lasagna on multiple occasions even though they were never shut down? Maybe. Maybe it's just a bad rumor some competing restaurant started... What if you found out that this restaurant was good friends with the head health inspector? This is no longer about whether they did it or not, it's about the likelihood that you might end up on the porcelain throne shitting uncontrollably for the hours following your dinner.
Now you say, how can you equate a restaurant to the presidency? Easy. If you're not willing to endure some bubble guts for a few hours, then why in god's name would you be willing to risk our country's well being? At least when you get mud butt, it's limited to you and any pet willing to follow you into the bathroom. If it's our country, you might lose your social security and have an incredible problem getting financing for the growing tuition costs our children are sure to encounter.
With all of this said, I'm not going to follow with some Bernie Sanders or Gary Johnson endorsement, I'm just here to say, that this 'one or the other' shit has to change. For the life of me, I do not understand how our system has failed in such a momentous manner that our two options are the "you're fired guy" and a woman who is a few subpoenas away from a federal indictment.
What happens when Hillary wins the Presidency? You can't indict the newly appointed president, what would that say about our political process? So your choices are sweep that shit under the rug or elect the 'grab her by the pussy guy'.
Do I have an answer? No. So why am I writing this? Because this is 'Merica god damn it and I feel the need to express my discontent for our government's current status. Regardless, I hope to see America find a way because today, America is need of a positive upturn.
"I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me --and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words." -Trump during his candidacy announcement in June of '15
Please consider the words both spoken and transcribed by our former presidents as you read this. The Gettysburg Address, the Bill of Rights, Kennedy's Inaugural Speech... "I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me." This is who you want to carry that legacy?
Answer: NO.
She sent some top-secret emails on a private server, ok, I get it, that is not good. Is that something that should nullify all of her other qualities? No. Is that something that should be punished? The answer is absolutely yes. And this is ignoring whatever it is she was trying to hide; I'm simply going on the fact that she's trying to hide something. I'm so god damn sick of politicians creating laws they do not live by. Much like when cops break a law *cough -murder- cough* and somehow are absolved of it much easier than your typical civilian based mainly on their professional position. "Oh, he's a trained police officer so his actions were calculated and measured, so it's less of an issue than a civilian that commits a nearly identical crime." Fuuuuuck that.
These old farts on the hill are making six figures and voting for salary increases while simultaneously voting for budget cuts in schools and social services. There is zero about this that makes me feel like these politicians who are supposed to be representing the people are voting with the people in mind. Sooooo, if an E3 gets court marshaled over sending top-secret info in the wrong manner, why shouldn't the former Secretary of State?
Now, I'm sure you pro-Hillary people are saying that 'nothing was ever proven' followed by some stupid stat about how many resources were put into an investigation that led to nothing. The thing is, James Comey (Director of FBI) made the decision not to indict her, rather just chastise her for her carelessness. Forget that Comey has been covering the Clinton's asses since Whitewater, the mere fact that this email shit is even a topic of investigation makes the details moot for me. Why in Abraham Lincoln's beard would we want someone with this many questionable actions running the country?
Would you go to a restaurant that had been accused of serving cat food in the lasagna on multiple occasions even though they were never shut down? Maybe. Maybe it's just a bad rumor some competing restaurant started... What if you found out that this restaurant was good friends with the head health inspector? This is no longer about whether they did it or not, it's about the likelihood that you might end up on the porcelain throne shitting uncontrollably for the hours following your dinner.
Now you say, how can you equate a restaurant to the presidency? Easy. If you're not willing to endure some bubble guts for a few hours, then why in god's name would you be willing to risk our country's well being? At least when you get mud butt, it's limited to you and any pet willing to follow you into the bathroom. If it's our country, you might lose your social security and have an incredible problem getting financing for the growing tuition costs our children are sure to encounter.
With all of this said, I'm not going to follow with some Bernie Sanders or Gary Johnson endorsement, I'm just here to say, that this 'one or the other' shit has to change. For the life of me, I do not understand how our system has failed in such a momentous manner that our two options are the "you're fired guy" and a woman who is a few subpoenas away from a federal indictment.
What happens when Hillary wins the Presidency? You can't indict the newly appointed president, what would that say about our political process? So your choices are sweep that shit under the rug or elect the 'grab her by the pussy guy'.
Do I have an answer? No. So why am I writing this? Because this is 'Merica god damn it and I feel the need to express my discontent for our government's current status. Regardless, I hope to see America find a way because today, America is need of a positive upturn.
Monday, October 31, 2016
Halloween
Let me first start this brief blog by saying I'm not a huge Halloween guy. I do not mind the holiday, I do think it's fun and will still participate but I also feel like the dressing up aspect is more of a children's holiday regardless of where it's origins are rooted. Dressing up was never my thing plus my costume selection is severely limited by the fact that without my glasses I'm blind as your Nana trying to read a menu in any lighting less than a spotlight. I say this only to mention that my coming judgements are said in jest because I'm not any better, but the truth must be spoken!
As I got into my 20's it was still fun because all the ladies just took a normal character, added "slutty" to the description and voila! There's their costume. Slutty nurse, slutty cop, etc, etc... And when you tried to slide in "naughty" instead of "slutty" you weren't fooling anyone. It was easy to get dressed up when you're still looking for that special naughty librarian to take home to meet the parents... But as I got older, the desire to source clothing I'll wear uncomfortably for a few hours of my life has worn off, regardless of how many naughty astro-physicists are at this years shindig.
Now that I'm in my 30's and have children, the holiday seems custom made for them. Dress them up in cute little outfits and parade them around, filling them with way too much sugar along the way. It's awesome. As for my costumes, I'm going to be about as lazy as the rules allow and though I realize this, I find it funny that those adults that still 'love Halloween' are equally as (un)dedicated to their costume. So I've compiled my list of the 10 laziest Halloween costumes. (In no particular order)
1. The Athlete.
Most of us have a jersey of some kind, some of us have enough clothing in our closets to look like a faux-athlete. Putting on your Marshawn Lynch jersey does not make your costume Marshawn Lynch. Get a wig, some sunglasses or some BeastMode shoes.... The devil is in the details.
2. The Worker.
Whether you're a construction worker, lumberjack or office professional, these are clothes you have immediate access to. Doesn't count as a costume if you wear it to work anyway.
3. The Pun.
Although I can give credit to the creativity, most of the time it's a stretch. An example of a good one I can remember is a giant lego block with a Rooster on it... The classic Cock Block. Bravo to that. But if I have to solve a brain teaser to figure out what you are, it's not that good.
4. The Witch.
Although classic monsters are always in style, you need to commit if you're going to do it. Don't put on a pointy hat and a black shawl and claim to be magic. You better have a broom and some warts if you want points.
5. The Pirate.
Same as above... It's a Halloween staple, but don't put on eye patch and the same bandana that sits at the bottom of your drawer and tell me you're a buccaneer. Buccaneers don't wear Spiderman T-shirts.
6. The Hippy.
Actually this one isn't bad if you commit. A nice afro, the right colored glasses and you can make this work. But again, don't tell me you're about peace and unity if you're wearing loose pants and don't look stoned.
7. The Musician.
Eyeliner makes the costume.
8. The Princess.
Fufu dress and a wand huh? Bippity Boppity Booooooo.
9. The Cat or The Devil
Drawing whiskers on and putting a headband with cat ears does not constitute as a costume. Peter Criss did that every day for 30 years with full makeup. Same goes for devil horn headbands and a shitty $1 tail.
10. The Clark Kent. (This is actually always on my list of go-to's... lol)
A superman shirt, a button up and tie and some slacks and you're golden. I assure you, I've worn this identical outfit to work more than once. Although as a comic book nerd, I consider this costume awesome, it is nearly the laziest you can get for a costume.
With that said.... Clark Kent may be on the docket next October. Hopefully Justice League doesn't ruin that for me.
So the moral of the story? No real moral. I am guilty of trying to minimize my efforts for Halloween too, so don't be sour if you have been one or every one of these costumes at one point or another. Just realize you can do better... ;)
As I got into my 20's it was still fun because all the ladies just took a normal character, added "slutty" to the description and voila! There's their costume. Slutty nurse, slutty cop, etc, etc... And when you tried to slide in "naughty" instead of "slutty" you weren't fooling anyone. It was easy to get dressed up when you're still looking for that special naughty librarian to take home to meet the parents... But as I got older, the desire to source clothing I'll wear uncomfortably for a few hours of my life has worn off, regardless of how many naughty astro-physicists are at this years shindig.
Now that I'm in my 30's and have children, the holiday seems custom made for them. Dress them up in cute little outfits and parade them around, filling them with way too much sugar along the way. It's awesome. As for my costumes, I'm going to be about as lazy as the rules allow and though I realize this, I find it funny that those adults that still 'love Halloween' are equally as (un)dedicated to their costume. So I've compiled my list of the 10 laziest Halloween costumes. (In no particular order)
1. The Athlete.
Most of us have a jersey of some kind, some of us have enough clothing in our closets to look like a faux-athlete. Putting on your Marshawn Lynch jersey does not make your costume Marshawn Lynch. Get a wig, some sunglasses or some BeastMode shoes.... The devil is in the details.
2. The Worker.
Whether you're a construction worker, lumberjack or office professional, these are clothes you have immediate access to. Doesn't count as a costume if you wear it to work anyway.
3. The Pun.
Although I can give credit to the creativity, most of the time it's a stretch. An example of a good one I can remember is a giant lego block with a Rooster on it... The classic Cock Block. Bravo to that. But if I have to solve a brain teaser to figure out what you are, it's not that good.
4. The Witch.
Although classic monsters are always in style, you need to commit if you're going to do it. Don't put on a pointy hat and a black shawl and claim to be magic. You better have a broom and some warts if you want points.
5. The Pirate.
Same as above... It's a Halloween staple, but don't put on eye patch and the same bandana that sits at the bottom of your drawer and tell me you're a buccaneer. Buccaneers don't wear Spiderman T-shirts.
6. The Hippy.
Actually this one isn't bad if you commit. A nice afro, the right colored glasses and you can make this work. But again, don't tell me you're about peace and unity if you're wearing loose pants and don't look stoned.
7. The Musician.
Eyeliner makes the costume.
8. The Princess.
Fufu dress and a wand huh? Bippity Boppity Booooooo.
9. The Cat or The Devil
Drawing whiskers on and putting a headband with cat ears does not constitute as a costume. Peter Criss did that every day for 30 years with full makeup. Same goes for devil horn headbands and a shitty $1 tail.
10. The Clark Kent. (This is actually always on my list of go-to's... lol)
A superman shirt, a button up and tie and some slacks and you're golden. I assure you, I've worn this identical outfit to work more than once. Although as a comic book nerd, I consider this costume awesome, it is nearly the laziest you can get for a costume.
With that said.... Clark Kent may be on the docket next October. Hopefully Justice League doesn't ruin that for me.
So the moral of the story? No real moral. I am guilty of trying to minimize my efforts for Halloween too, so don't be sour if you have been one or every one of these costumes at one point or another. Just realize you can do better... ;)
Monday, October 17, 2016
Experiencing "Nah"-stalgia
As a kid, I did all the normal stuff kids do. We went camping and fishing, but not like the movies... I wasn't out hunting with my 'Pa at the crack of dawn every November. But you know what I did a shit ton of? Playing and watching sports.
I vividly remember going to Cheney, Washington (hours from anywhere) to watch training camp with my brother and cousins; I remember sitting at the very top row in the Kingdome and sliding down the cement embankments during Seahawks games. I remember getting pulled out of school to the one-game play-in game against the Angels in '95. If memory serves, you could even smoke inside at one point!
I say all that to illustrate that when I was a kid, The Kingdome embodied a place where people (the males in my family in particular) connected in a way that resonated both figuratively and physically at a common tone. During game day, the building was sacred and it was a place where sanctity and competition were celebrated in the form of unity over a sports team and the routines that came with it. During those handful of hours, you lent your support to people you'd likely never meet but felt loyal to none the less; And you held that same blind comradery with everyone around you. In a way it was freeing and it was how I got to know my dad and brother. So in my head, the stadium was pure in a way...
I mean, I thought this until I realized that my memories ignore the fact that I was a kid that was blind to the non-sense that has surely been around forever.... I say that in jest, but I figured out something today that has eluded me for a while now.
My whole life we've had season tickets to the Seahawks. Because of that fact, the novelty of going to a game in person is not what it might be to someone who can count the number of games they've attended on one hand. And when I see the way some people's eyes light up when they talk about going to the game, I wonder why I've lost that same fire. I love the Seahawks... Hands down my favorite team of all time and there is no question that watching all of their games is a priority of mine. But why am I indifferent to going to the games these days?
I figured it out and here is a list I'm considering to be plausible reasons for my desire to stay home for the games.
Examples derived from Seattle Seahawks vs. Atlanta Falcons game 10/16/2016
-The Know It All
This guy constantly yells at both the refs and coaches as to what they should be doing. He knows the routes from each play and how they're intended to be ran as well as what defensive packages they should be using. Today after broken coverage led to an Atlanta touchdown a gentleman was yelling about how we need to "stop running so much fucking man to man, man!"... Meanwhile, anyone who played a down of defensive football would know by looking at the players positioning that we were in zone coverage. Now consider you're in a meeting where someone continues to complain that Alaska is not a federally recognized state and cannot be convinced otherwise. How would you deal with this person?
-The Yeller
This guy is pretty self-explanatory. Whether he's yelling "come on" or "that's what I'm talking 'bout babaaaaaay", it's not his 6-inch voice. I know we're at a sporting event and I'm proud of our stadium being known as one of the loudest in the world, but it's all about the timing. If the stadium has fallen to a calm due to a time out or a challenge, this is not the time to scream from a hundred yards away to your intended conversation partner. Nobody is impressed with how hype you can get during a timeout.
-The Swearer
I'm the first to admit that I'm a potty mouth by choice. I love the shits and fucks of the world, but I also know that it has it's time and place. I'm comfortable dropping a 'shit' in a casual conversation but it's how you present the shit that makes it palatable. Yelling "you fucking piece of shit" repeatedly at someone who cannot hear you seems unnecessary, no?
-The Selfie Girls
I don't care if you call this sexist, it is data I've collected over my adult life and I feel comfortable arguing the point, so let's get that out of the way. Women who go to a football game and do not pay attention are the worst. In no way am I saying they do not deserve to be there or that this complaint is restricted to humans without a penis, I'm just saying that it's obnoxious to have people Snapchatting their time at the game instead of watching it. It doesn't infringe on anyone's experience, it's just OB-noxious. How would it look if I went to a ballet and spent the whole time taking selfies and playing Candy Crush? Disclaimer: When I start seeing men doing this, I will change the heading to Selfie People.
-The Bros/The Lush
I love my friends. I love going to games with my friends. I can enjoy tying one on with my friends. What I don't like is when my friends drink too much and act like assholes. The Bros are the collective group of adult('ish) men whose sole purpose for game day is to drink beer and watch football. Although my window for dealing with drunk strangers is shrinking (I don't drink much), I have zero issue with people getting hammered and cheering their hearts out at the game. It's that wolfpack mentality a group of guys get when they get too keyed up. Typically the group starts to employ all of the above qualities and as they get more and more excited, they start to get rowdy then you start to get annoyed with having to dodge their pinball'esque movements as you clutch your still hot coffee. Get crazy boys, but realize you're sharing a confined space and not everyone is as excited that you ate all of your buddies garlic fries while he was in the bathroom. Similarly, The Lush is the single guy in a group (or alone) who is doing everything he can to make it through the game without puking or passing out. He'll bump into you with his boozy breath, spill his drinks and say things like "Albert Pujols should be playing tight end!"
-The Father of 2 Who Complains About Going To a Stadium
In reflecting on going to the stadium, it's apparent that I am diving into a sea of people that represent life in all shapes and smells... On the whole, the people are great and the environment is electric, but I'd just as soon be watching on my couch with my drooling baby on my shoulder than sitting in the cold with a drooling stranger on my shoulder.
I vividly remember going to Cheney, Washington (hours from anywhere) to watch training camp with my brother and cousins; I remember sitting at the very top row in the Kingdome and sliding down the cement embankments during Seahawks games. I remember getting pulled out of school to the one-game play-in game against the Angels in '95. If memory serves, you could even smoke inside at one point!
I say all that to illustrate that when I was a kid, The Kingdome embodied a place where people (the males in my family in particular) connected in a way that resonated both figuratively and physically at a common tone. During game day, the building was sacred and it was a place where sanctity and competition were celebrated in the form of unity over a sports team and the routines that came with it. During those handful of hours, you lent your support to people you'd likely never meet but felt loyal to none the less; And you held that same blind comradery with everyone around you. In a way it was freeing and it was how I got to know my dad and brother. So in my head, the stadium was pure in a way...
I mean, I thought this until I realized that my memories ignore the fact that I was a kid that was blind to the non-sense that has surely been around forever.... I say that in jest, but I figured out something today that has eluded me for a while now.
My whole life we've had season tickets to the Seahawks. Because of that fact, the novelty of going to a game in person is not what it might be to someone who can count the number of games they've attended on one hand. And when I see the way some people's eyes light up when they talk about going to the game, I wonder why I've lost that same fire. I love the Seahawks... Hands down my favorite team of all time and there is no question that watching all of their games is a priority of mine. But why am I indifferent to going to the games these days?
I figured it out and here is a list I'm considering to be plausible reasons for my desire to stay home for the games.
Examples derived from Seattle Seahawks vs. Atlanta Falcons game 10/16/2016
-The Know It All
This guy constantly yells at both the refs and coaches as to what they should be doing. He knows the routes from each play and how they're intended to be ran as well as what defensive packages they should be using. Today after broken coverage led to an Atlanta touchdown a gentleman was yelling about how we need to "stop running so much fucking man to man, man!"... Meanwhile, anyone who played a down of defensive football would know by looking at the players positioning that we were in zone coverage. Now consider you're in a meeting where someone continues to complain that Alaska is not a federally recognized state and cannot be convinced otherwise. How would you deal with this person?
-The Yeller
This guy is pretty self-explanatory. Whether he's yelling "come on" or "that's what I'm talking 'bout babaaaaaay", it's not his 6-inch voice. I know we're at a sporting event and I'm proud of our stadium being known as one of the loudest in the world, but it's all about the timing. If the stadium has fallen to a calm due to a time out or a challenge, this is not the time to scream from a hundred yards away to your intended conversation partner. Nobody is impressed with how hype you can get during a timeout.
-The Swearer
I'm the first to admit that I'm a potty mouth by choice. I love the shits and fucks of the world, but I also know that it has it's time and place. I'm comfortable dropping a 'shit' in a casual conversation but it's how you present the shit that makes it palatable. Yelling "you fucking piece of shit" repeatedly at someone who cannot hear you seems unnecessary, no?
-The Selfie Girls
I don't care if you call this sexist, it is data I've collected over my adult life and I feel comfortable arguing the point, so let's get that out of the way. Women who go to a football game and do not pay attention are the worst. In no way am I saying they do not deserve to be there or that this complaint is restricted to humans without a penis, I'm just saying that it's obnoxious to have people Snapchatting their time at the game instead of watching it. It doesn't infringe on anyone's experience, it's just OB-noxious. How would it look if I went to a ballet and spent the whole time taking selfies and playing Candy Crush? Disclaimer: When I start seeing men doing this, I will change the heading to Selfie People.
-The Bros/The Lush
I love my friends. I love going to games with my friends. I can enjoy tying one on with my friends. What I don't like is when my friends drink too much and act like assholes. The Bros are the collective group of adult('ish) men whose sole purpose for game day is to drink beer and watch football. Although my window for dealing with drunk strangers is shrinking (I don't drink much), I have zero issue with people getting hammered and cheering their hearts out at the game. It's that wolfpack mentality a group of guys get when they get too keyed up. Typically the group starts to employ all of the above qualities and as they get more and more excited, they start to get rowdy then you start to get annoyed with having to dodge their pinball'esque movements as you clutch your still hot coffee. Get crazy boys, but realize you're sharing a confined space and not everyone is as excited that you ate all of your buddies garlic fries while he was in the bathroom. Similarly, The Lush is the single guy in a group (or alone) who is doing everything he can to make it through the game without puking or passing out. He'll bump into you with his boozy breath, spill his drinks and say things like "Albert Pujols should be playing tight end!"
-The Father of 2 Who Complains About Going To a Stadium
In reflecting on going to the stadium, it's apparent that I am diving into a sea of people that represent life in all shapes and smells... On the whole, the people are great and the environment is electric, but I'd just as soon be watching on my couch with my drooling baby on my shoulder than sitting in the cold with a drooling stranger on my shoulder.
Saturday, October 15, 2016
Internet, Introspection, Innnnnjoying the moment?
If you're like me (and if you're reading this blog, chances are I'm making a safe assumption) you are familiar with the internet. Whether it's your email, your favorite news sites or checking Facebook to see how your friends and family are doing, you are using the internet. This is for all intents and purposes an organism of data that co-exists like a global library more or less. A grand analogy of life.
I recently went on vacation to Canada and found the internet access to be limited. Forget the fact that it was shit speed everywhere we went, but some of the sites I tried to read wouldn't even allow me access b/c I was not in the US. Forget the 'vacation = no internet' non sense too b/c I'm not hearing it. The internet is my newspaper, my Time Magazine, my warm blanket. Because the older I get the more I want to consume information. And the internet is just a giant library in my pocket that is filled with horrible content and brilliant work; Sifting through it is an adventure.
This led me to think about net neutrality and how important open access to information is. I cannot fathom the reason I would be unable to read about research being done (US ran, foreign locale) from the neighboring country. Or why I couldn't watch a clip from a UFC fight that previous weekend. Whether it's a cooking blog or a thesis on Nuclear Fusion published in Germany, why is it not all available to everyone? It's on the internet for people to consume!
With that being said, net neutrality is a real concern these days and it doesn't seem like people are even worried. For those of you unfamiliar, the issue is that internet providers are fighting to gain the right to slow down or block content as they see fit. They argue on the principal that it's "their highway" of information, we're just using it. Forget their argument for a minute and consider what it would mean if they had the right to block and slow down content on the internet.........
...........
Ok. Ready for an easy analogy?
You know if you turn on Fox News you get one perspective, then you turn to CNN and get another perspective? You hear the same topic being discussed with vastly different narratives filled with 80% bullshit and fluff and it becomes clear that they've got an agenda... Now imagine that you can't change the channel. You have Fox News internet or you have CNN internet.
Is that the type of information you want available to you? Make no mistake that if the ISP's get control, big money will take over.
Now surprisingly, that's not what my main take away was, that was just a quick fyi for that ass. While thinking about all of this, I got to thinking about the content I do consume. A lot of it is social media; I'm a people watcher. I'm fascinated by people's interactions and lately I've noticed more (it's affected me more), how negative people are on the internet. Why they're that way, anyone can guess, but it's just an expectation to see 75% negative stuff and 25% positive while looking at people interacting on the internet.
Truthfully, recently the negativity was getting to me so much that I was considering dropping all social media all together. Then I realized I'm an adult and can manage life.
The approach is pretty obvious, don't buy into the hateful rhetoric and use your resources to find the good in the world, not the bad; It's a basic tenet of life. Then the internet sort of purifies itself to become that open source of data with the potential for growth of knowledge. Of course you'll find rocks, worms and root systems that screw with your garden of information, but again, sifting through it is the adventure.
Now in the face of all of this introspection on how you view the negativity on the internet, I realized I could be doing better at this in my daily life. We have a baby in brand new house and work is crazy and if you let yourself, you can be deterred by these obstacles. Of course severe windstorms could be coming, but when was the last time you got to sit with your family and play board games by candlelight? Of course you work your ass off and feel under appreciated, but you're not starving and you're moving forward, right?
Life is a series of decisions. You either choose to see the opportunity or you choose to see the obstacles. It's important to see the obstacle but only as your eye line looks beyond it to where you're going next. Besides, life without any obstacles is just going for a walk. Hashtag boring.
So yesterday we all got home from work and as usual we had a dozen things to do in order to get everyone fed, get homework done, get laundry done and the kids ready for bed before we could even sit down. But as I was making dinner in the kitchen, something happened that changed my night. We were both exhausted; I was cooking the pasta sauce and my wife was feeding my son. Soon my wife was singing to my son who couldn't have smiled bigger. Next thing I know my daughter came into the kitchen and was now singing an impressive duet with my wife. My son looked like my buddy Bain in the front row of a Van Halen show. It was the final scene of a Full House episode I'm sure of it.
This made me think about my dad for some reason.
He really enjoyed being with his family so I figured he'd get a kick out of that All-American moment. When I'm red-lining in life, I often wonder what he'd think about stuff and I know he'd tell me to ignore the haters (in 61 year old dad terms) and just find what makes me happy. So whether I'm learning to ignore the hateful politics on the internet or stopping to enjoy a one-night-only duet, I think he'd be proud of what we're building and I think he'd be even more proud that I stopped to enjoy it.
I recently went on vacation to Canada and found the internet access to be limited. Forget the fact that it was shit speed everywhere we went, but some of the sites I tried to read wouldn't even allow me access b/c I was not in the US. Forget the 'vacation = no internet' non sense too b/c I'm not hearing it. The internet is my newspaper, my Time Magazine, my warm blanket. Because the older I get the more I want to consume information. And the internet is just a giant library in my pocket that is filled with horrible content and brilliant work; Sifting through it is an adventure.
This led me to think about net neutrality and how important open access to information is. I cannot fathom the reason I would be unable to read about research being done (US ran, foreign locale) from the neighboring country. Or why I couldn't watch a clip from a UFC fight that previous weekend. Whether it's a cooking blog or a thesis on Nuclear Fusion published in Germany, why is it not all available to everyone? It's on the internet for people to consume!
With that being said, net neutrality is a real concern these days and it doesn't seem like people are even worried. For those of you unfamiliar, the issue is that internet providers are fighting to gain the right to slow down or block content as they see fit. They argue on the principal that it's "their highway" of information, we're just using it. Forget their argument for a minute and consider what it would mean if they had the right to block and slow down content on the internet.........
...........
Ok. Ready for an easy analogy?
You know if you turn on Fox News you get one perspective, then you turn to CNN and get another perspective? You hear the same topic being discussed with vastly different narratives filled with 80% bullshit and fluff and it becomes clear that they've got an agenda... Now imagine that you can't change the channel. You have Fox News internet or you have CNN internet.
Is that the type of information you want available to you? Make no mistake that if the ISP's get control, big money will take over.
Now surprisingly, that's not what my main take away was, that was just a quick fyi for that ass. While thinking about all of this, I got to thinking about the content I do consume. A lot of it is social media; I'm a people watcher. I'm fascinated by people's interactions and lately I've noticed more (it's affected me more), how negative people are on the internet. Why they're that way, anyone can guess, but it's just an expectation to see 75% negative stuff and 25% positive while looking at people interacting on the internet.
Truthfully, recently the negativity was getting to me so much that I was considering dropping all social media all together. Then I realized I'm an adult and can manage life.
The approach is pretty obvious, don't buy into the hateful rhetoric and use your resources to find the good in the world, not the bad; It's a basic tenet of life. Then the internet sort of purifies itself to become that open source of data with the potential for growth of knowledge. Of course you'll find rocks, worms and root systems that screw with your garden of information, but again, sifting through it is the adventure.
Now in the face of all of this introspection on how you view the negativity on the internet, I realized I could be doing better at this in my daily life. We have a baby in brand new house and work is crazy and if you let yourself, you can be deterred by these obstacles. Of course severe windstorms could be coming, but when was the last time you got to sit with your family and play board games by candlelight? Of course you work your ass off and feel under appreciated, but you're not starving and you're moving forward, right?
Life is a series of decisions. You either choose to see the opportunity or you choose to see the obstacles. It's important to see the obstacle but only as your eye line looks beyond it to where you're going next. Besides, life without any obstacles is just going for a walk. Hashtag boring.
So yesterday we all got home from work and as usual we had a dozen things to do in order to get everyone fed, get homework done, get laundry done and the kids ready for bed before we could even sit down. But as I was making dinner in the kitchen, something happened that changed my night. We were both exhausted; I was cooking the pasta sauce and my wife was feeding my son. Soon my wife was singing to my son who couldn't have smiled bigger. Next thing I know my daughter came into the kitchen and was now singing an impressive duet with my wife. My son looked like my buddy Bain in the front row of a Van Halen show. It was the final scene of a Full House episode I'm sure of it.
This made me think about my dad for some reason.
He really enjoyed being with his family so I figured he'd get a kick out of that All-American moment. When I'm red-lining in life, I often wonder what he'd think about stuff and I know he'd tell me to ignore the haters (in 61 year old dad terms) and just find what makes me happy. So whether I'm learning to ignore the hateful politics on the internet or stopping to enjoy a one-night-only duet, I think he'd be proud of what we're building and I think he'd be even more proud that I stopped to enjoy it.
Monday, September 19, 2016
It's been a while #NoStaind
It's been a long while since I've posted a blog. I'd like to say that my absence was wholly justified in terms of my own writing goals, but it's not. I had promised myself a regimented amount of blogging to keep sharpening the iron so to speak and I failed pretty badly.
However, with that said, I have done quite a bit since my last blog. I actually finished my book last summer! Which as it stood was the reason I was justifying my lack of blogging. I churched it up, edited, re-edited and started submitting to literary agents. Lots of responses but no bites. THEN, we found out we were going to have another baby!
Book took a back seat.
In March my beautiful wife had a little handsome smiley baby boy. He's worthy of another entire blog--- which shall come sooner than later. But I digress. After the baby came, we did what anyone does when their life is in a huge state of transition--- we bought a new house!
We upgraded in size, neighborhood and schools so it was a win in so many ways. Now we are just finishing up getting the house all put together. Most everything is where it will go and we just need to hang the art and we're pretty much set. But that feeling of transition has always been the block to my writing motivation. I understand the commitment it takes to do the kind of writing I'd like to be doing and I've always found a way to sabotage my plans.
Finishing the book was a huge accomplishment for myself. I busted my ass, writing hours a day after everyone was asleep and sneaking off to a Starbucks as often as I could to lose myself in some coffee, music and some science fiction. But that takes an enormous amount of time and energy and with a new baby and a new house on the horizon, neither were very available to me. One thing after another always gave me a reason to put my writing at the back of the line. Well here is where my epiphany happened.
Our goal was a family of four (furry family excluded) [check], we knew we'd eventually need to find an upgrade for a home [check], we kept our first home as a rental so we're 'well invested' [check] and up until about 3 years ago we were in dire need of upgrading our vehicles to match our new family oriented lifestyles [check]... Besides the typical college funds and vacations, we really have accomplished some of our key goals as a family. That's fucking exciting.
The epiphany is that now that we have our roots where we anticipate keeping them for decades to come, I can honestly say I've run out of reasons to wait any longer in diving in as deep as I want to go. I believe I'm about to resurrect the podcast, I anticipate getting back on top of my blog and as god as my witness, I will sell that damn book.
The thing is, among that epiphany I realized a major mis-step from someone in my position. Writing should've been a part of those long-term goals all along. Instead of letting it fall to the back of the line, I should've been clearing space for it. I've made this declaration before but I will be re-committing to my writing because that's where I believe I'm meant to make a mark (outside of my own family that is). I believe I have a huge advantage in that when people have the hunger 'for more' as they get older, they often need to go searching just to figure out what that 'more' is... I have identified my more and the amount I have access to is unquantifiable. That's exciting.
I have no clue how many of you read these but all the comments help keep me engaged. I promise to make the future blogs a little more entertaining. I just needed to get something on the computer.
However, with that said, I have done quite a bit since my last blog. I actually finished my book last summer! Which as it stood was the reason I was justifying my lack of blogging. I churched it up, edited, re-edited and started submitting to literary agents. Lots of responses but no bites. THEN, we found out we were going to have another baby!
Book took a back seat.
In March my beautiful wife had a little handsome smiley baby boy. He's worthy of another entire blog--- which shall come sooner than later. But I digress. After the baby came, we did what anyone does when their life is in a huge state of transition--- we bought a new house!
We upgraded in size, neighborhood and schools so it was a win in so many ways. Now we are just finishing up getting the house all put together. Most everything is where it will go and we just need to hang the art and we're pretty much set. But that feeling of transition has always been the block to my writing motivation. I understand the commitment it takes to do the kind of writing I'd like to be doing and I've always found a way to sabotage my plans.
Finishing the book was a huge accomplishment for myself. I busted my ass, writing hours a day after everyone was asleep and sneaking off to a Starbucks as often as I could to lose myself in some coffee, music and some science fiction. But that takes an enormous amount of time and energy and with a new baby and a new house on the horizon, neither were very available to me. One thing after another always gave me a reason to put my writing at the back of the line. Well here is where my epiphany happened.
Our goal was a family of four (furry family excluded) [check], we knew we'd eventually need to find an upgrade for a home [check], we kept our first home as a rental so we're 'well invested' [check] and up until about 3 years ago we were in dire need of upgrading our vehicles to match our new family oriented lifestyles [check]... Besides the typical college funds and vacations, we really have accomplished some of our key goals as a family. That's fucking exciting.
The epiphany is that now that we have our roots where we anticipate keeping them for decades to come, I can honestly say I've run out of reasons to wait any longer in diving in as deep as I want to go. I believe I'm about to resurrect the podcast, I anticipate getting back on top of my blog and as god as my witness, I will sell that damn book.
The thing is, among that epiphany I realized a major mis-step from someone in my position. Writing should've been a part of those long-term goals all along. Instead of letting it fall to the back of the line, I should've been clearing space for it. I've made this declaration before but I will be re-committing to my writing because that's where I believe I'm meant to make a mark (outside of my own family that is). I believe I have a huge advantage in that when people have the hunger 'for more' as they get older, they often need to go searching just to figure out what that 'more' is... I have identified my more and the amount I have access to is unquantifiable. That's exciting.
I have no clue how many of you read these but all the comments help keep me engaged. I promise to make the future blogs a little more entertaining. I just needed to get something on the computer.
Thursday, October 09, 2014
Chasing Your Passion
Here's the thing- we all spend a lot of time at work. For the lucky ones, you're doing what you love as your job. Some people hate what they do for a living and if you're like me, you enjoy your job but you're not incredibly passionate about it.
The money is good, the insurance, the stability are all things that are valuable to an adult; Especially one with a family. But the one thing that I lack is that fire in my belly for what I do. My wife took it upon herself to chase her passion and start her own photography company and she is kicking large quantities of ass doing it. She maintains a full time job, is a great mother and still finds time to go out and do her photoshoots. Her hardwork is not only admirable but it's friggin impressive. My goal would be to put my wife in a position where she can do that as her only job.
What is it that I'm passionate about? Well, since I don't think I have a great chance at becoming a defensive coordinator in the NFL, I'll stick to something I'm actually decent at... Writing.
A bunch of years ago before I came to my current company, I got laid off from my previous job and was a mid-20's unemployed jabroni. It took me years to figure out that what I did with that free time was what I should be doing for a career. I vividly remember my then girlfriend going to bed one night so she could be up for work the next morning; When the silence fell upon our condo, I started writing. I think it was probably about 9 or 10pm. I wrote and wrote and wrote until next thing I knew, my girlfriend was getting up and going to work. I put my head down and wrote and wrote some more. Again, she had come home from work and I was still writing.
I wrote for 24 hours straight, fueled by energy drinks and the typical creative muse we all know as Mary.
Eventually I got a job and regained my status as contributing member of society and that story hit the shelf. It was a full story that was only partially written. And for the next few years, it would call to me in the night... "Do me! Do me!"
Now, typically I jump up when I hear that statement flung at me, but when it comes to writing, it's sometimes difficult to get started for whatever reason.
Flash forward another handful of years. I'm married, have a beautiful wife, beautiful daughter and am a homeowner. Life is good. But as I got promoted higher at my company, my goals got loftier. I considered going back to school to get my masters, I considered switching jobs with more opportunity to grow, but in the end it was watching my wife effortlessly make the photography game her bitch that made me rethink my strategy.
I could easily go pay another ass load of money on tuition to get another piece of paper that "proves" I'm worthy to be the head of some corporate department, but is that what I want? Good pay really isn't that appealing when I'm doing work that is only mildly motivating, not to mention the lack of family time that comes with moving up the corporate ladder.
So what did I do?
I dusted off that story and got back on it. Here I am, October of 2014, 6 years since that energy drink filled evening led me to write 50 pages and I'm at about 85,000 words of this book. With the remaining story and editing left, I consider myself about 75% there. I have no concern about the quality of the story or the potential audience as I'm fully aware that there are many nerds like myself that would be interested in the subject matter. But what I'm concerned with is what happens if I can get it published?
My life would change drastically, going from employed and supported by a great company to being self-employed with nobody but myself to rely on. That's the ultimate goal though, right? I think that's the American dream and frankly that was what my dad always told me to aim for.
So before my dad passed away in March of this year, I told him he'd better make sure and be ready to see his son on the Best Seller's list one day. I think I owe it to him, my family and myself to follow through with my best efforts to achieve that. I write this article because I'm not in a position to work on my book at this moment, but I had words that wanted to come out of my head.
So please if you're reading this, keep a tab on me. I plan on hitting you guys with something sooner than later. Some of the most famous writers of our generation (JK Rowling for example) got turned down dozens of times before their book sold, but when it did... IT WAS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. And that excites me. The idea that my imagination could entertain people is ridiculously appealing to me. Auditing customs entries and discussing raw material pricing with the manager of a factory in China is not as exciting.
So... As I've done before on my blog, I'll state it again... I will eventually be able to say that I do what I love for a living... And that's create.
The money is good, the insurance, the stability are all things that are valuable to an adult; Especially one with a family. But the one thing that I lack is that fire in my belly for what I do. My wife took it upon herself to chase her passion and start her own photography company and she is kicking large quantities of ass doing it. She maintains a full time job, is a great mother and still finds time to go out and do her photoshoots. Her hardwork is not only admirable but it's friggin impressive. My goal would be to put my wife in a position where she can do that as her only job.
What is it that I'm passionate about? Well, since I don't think I have a great chance at becoming a defensive coordinator in the NFL, I'll stick to something I'm actually decent at... Writing.
A bunch of years ago before I came to my current company, I got laid off from my previous job and was a mid-20's unemployed jabroni. It took me years to figure out that what I did with that free time was what I should be doing for a career. I vividly remember my then girlfriend going to bed one night so she could be up for work the next morning; When the silence fell upon our condo, I started writing. I think it was probably about 9 or 10pm. I wrote and wrote and wrote until next thing I knew, my girlfriend was getting up and going to work. I put my head down and wrote and wrote some more. Again, she had come home from work and I was still writing.
I wrote for 24 hours straight, fueled by energy drinks and the typical creative muse we all know as Mary.
Eventually I got a job and regained my status as contributing member of society and that story hit the shelf. It was a full story that was only partially written. And for the next few years, it would call to me in the night... "Do me! Do me!"
Now, typically I jump up when I hear that statement flung at me, but when it comes to writing, it's sometimes difficult to get started for whatever reason.
Flash forward another handful of years. I'm married, have a beautiful wife, beautiful daughter and am a homeowner. Life is good. But as I got promoted higher at my company, my goals got loftier. I considered going back to school to get my masters, I considered switching jobs with more opportunity to grow, but in the end it was watching my wife effortlessly make the photography game her bitch that made me rethink my strategy.
I could easily go pay another ass load of money on tuition to get another piece of paper that "proves" I'm worthy to be the head of some corporate department, but is that what I want? Good pay really isn't that appealing when I'm doing work that is only mildly motivating, not to mention the lack of family time that comes with moving up the corporate ladder.
So what did I do?
I dusted off that story and got back on it. Here I am, October of 2014, 6 years since that energy drink filled evening led me to write 50 pages and I'm at about 85,000 words of this book. With the remaining story and editing left, I consider myself about 75% there. I have no concern about the quality of the story or the potential audience as I'm fully aware that there are many nerds like myself that would be interested in the subject matter. But what I'm concerned with is what happens if I can get it published?
My life would change drastically, going from employed and supported by a great company to being self-employed with nobody but myself to rely on. That's the ultimate goal though, right? I think that's the American dream and frankly that was what my dad always told me to aim for.
So before my dad passed away in March of this year, I told him he'd better make sure and be ready to see his son on the Best Seller's list one day. I think I owe it to him, my family and myself to follow through with my best efforts to achieve that. I write this article because I'm not in a position to work on my book at this moment, but I had words that wanted to come out of my head.
So please if you're reading this, keep a tab on me. I plan on hitting you guys with something sooner than later. Some of the most famous writers of our generation (JK Rowling for example) got turned down dozens of times before their book sold, but when it did... IT WAS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG. And that excites me. The idea that my imagination could entertain people is ridiculously appealing to me. Auditing customs entries and discussing raw material pricing with the manager of a factory in China is not as exciting.
So... As I've done before on my blog, I'll state it again... I will eventually be able to say that I do what I love for a living... And that's create.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)