Surviving Technology

I'm a tech geek.

I love gadgets, I love gizmo's and I love anything with a power button. It started with a Nintendo, it then moved on to a calculator watch that could hold all your phone numbers! It moved on to pagers, then a Nokia cellphone and my addiction to tech eventually landed me with a dependence to "The Core". [I JUST penned this term, you're welcome]. Apple products are typically great products in quality and value (even at the high ticket prices) but it's not even the devices themselves that I think we're addicted to, it's IOS itself.

From your favorite apps to iCloud to iTunes, if you own an iPhone or Mac, you're likely committed to the infrastructure of Apple... or as it's been known for centuries... THE CORE. With that said, I'm fine with it. My opinion for most things I buy is that I desire a good value over a good price. Every Apple device I've ever owned has been heads and shoulders above in quality and stability than any other electronic device or system I've ever had. Virus', glitches, lagging, these are all things other devices commonly had happening. None of that with Apple. When glitches occur with Apple products, they quickly code in a patch and your device updates itself. It's just EASIER.

After having just got on my knees to give a Steve-Jobs, I want to say that I'm OK with this addiction because I think that technology really does make life a little easier. I thought about this blog topic as I sit here on a Saturday night looking at 10 devices of various types in front of me; All going at the same time. On one hand, I'm being incredibly efficient, but on the other, it does seem a little overboard.

Let's just say that I'm watching football on mute on my iPad, backing up movies to an external hard drive, listening to my favorite Spotify channel on a Bluetooth speaker via my iPhone and writing this on my Netbook.

And you won't catch me writing without the video monitor for my daughter sitting on my desk. I can't help it.....

But as I consider how all my gadgets tether to another gadget and how my wife can essentially text me calendar invites so all I have to do is press 'accept' to add to my calendar. I think about how I can buy anything from my phone, I think about all of this and step back to realize the type of dependence I have on technology. Think about how NAKED you feel when you forget your phone?!?!? When I was a kid, cellphones only existed in cars that we couldn't afford. You had to check in every few hours or something (at a payphone or friend's house), but there was a thing called the answering machine where when you couldn't get a hold of someone you told them why you were calling. Then if they caught up with you, you get to interact. If not, you don't. Side note: People were MUCH better at giving messages back then too.

Now, you get the benefit of having information or entertainment at the tip of your fingers at any time, but you're virtually reachable at any time too. Now Big Brother has slowly crept into everyone's lives. [Mountain Men excluded] What I find dangerous about it all is that you don't have to learn to be bored anymore. A lot of character is built by learning to be bored. How do you manage boredom? Destructive? Constructive? Contemplative? That's where you learn about you. Now we don't have to reflect on that sort of stuff.

My two and a half year old can operate an iPhone or iPad as well as any older person I know. Will her generation learn to manage technology in a healthy manner? Will they be a huge shit show? Currently I'm leaning towards the latter, but I am hoping I'm wrong and trying to do my part.

But as I can objectively see the short falls of this wave of technology my generation has been riding our whole lives, I don't care. It honestly has the same characteristics of a drug addict. I consciously know technology today could create problems, but it's so awesome I don't plan on stopping.

As is the case with everything, it's all about balance. You can't keep your nose buried in your phone or tablet all day, completely ignoring the world around you. #teenagers. I like to go to the gym or take my dog on a run, but I have to have my phone and earbuds. We like to take trips to see new places, but we have to use the computer to find them. I like to go golfing, but love my GPS watch for reads on yardage. It's EVERYWHERE. Apple could truly be the real life Skynet. Tell me you couldn't see Chris Hemsworth trying to defeat something famously known as THE CORE.

Now in writing this I've got to think about other things that are truly useful in technology. Wireless technology and smaller devices allow for you to require less space in your life. My phone is also my calendar, my entertainment library, my portal for everything in my life! I have a God damn Panda Express app on my phone! Wait in lines no more, order and pay on your phone and your grub is ready when you arrive. If you are anti-tech for some hippy reason, shame on you. Beef and broccoli ready with a few swipes of your phone? But I digress.

Like I said, I'm backing up my movies right now in an attempt to rid my shelves of uncountable DVD's. When I'm done I will have access to every single movie I own via my Apple TV. My daughter's sleep overs are about to crack off. WIFI, Bluetooth, DVR, On Demand... C'mon maaaan. I'm even considering swapping security systems to the AT&T plan where you can operate EVE-RY-THANG from your phone. EVERYTHING? EVE-RY-THANG. Let's also not forget that where Apple is the hardware king, Google is the software king. (By the numbers Microsoft might actually win that honor, but Bill's the richest man on the planet, so he can kick rocks) Google offers cloud based services for free and if you're a Chrome browser fan, no matter what device you use, all of your settings are there. It just makes things EASIER.

All in all, I'm grateful to be in a generation that got to see rotary phones and smart phones in our life times. I think it will provide a unique perspective a decade or two from now. I used to love to see that glint in my dad's eyes when I'd tell him about a function he'd really find useful on a device he's had for 6 months; I hope I keep that glint too. "Oh, you mean I can send pictures in a text message?"

I'd like to think that our generation has had to adapt to the fast moving train of technology, therefore we'll be more equipped to handle it as it comes, but I would've held that same theory true for music and I don't know what the hell they pass off as Top 40 or hip-hop anymore. So if you see me in public staring at my phone, go ahead and judge me. But did you know that fracking on the borders of Croatia have created tension among neighboring countries?

Tomorrow is Sunday and I will post this article knowing that most of my friends and family will ignore it because it's not NFL related, but I too will be at home, near a TV with every NFL game available and every device I own tuned into something fantasy football related. And because I have all of this stuff at my fingertips, I can play hide and seek with my daughter all morning too. Missed a play? Rewind. Missed a freak injury? YouTube it. (Yeah, I'm sick like that) Now... Let me be very clear... I'm not above shunning my family during a Seahawks game; I'm just saying that technology doesn't have to hinder you from being able to engage with the family. So nerd out safely, kids. And tomorrow as I sit on my couch in front of my mobile command center, I will watch people out my front window jogging in the fresh air and I'll think to myself... "Poor saps, don't they know what they're missing?"

Weekend in Whistler

Last weekend, me and a few guys from work took off to Canada to play golf! We got in on Friday and out on Sunday so it was a quick trip, but boy did I take in the culture. Here are some things I learned in my 54 hour trip to Whistler.

-Traffic in Vancouver looks a lot like traffic in Bellevue but with less Mercedes' and more smiles. I've never seen people so content to go 3 mph on the freeway. Excuse me, 4.82 kilometers per hour.

-Though it's completely practical and logical, fuck the metric system.

-People that say a 6 hour drive is "not that long" have way too much time on their hands. If I can watch Braveheart and Season 3 of Saved by the Bell on the car ride to somewhere, we should've caught a plane.

-Canada has the secret to keeping the outdoors feeling outdoorsy. They take care of it. People up there LOVE hiking, riding bikes and wearing skinny jeans in 80 degree weather. It's not coincidence that they look healthy and happy.

-The company I work for is baller status. The large company condo was located 100 yards from the clubhouse to Nicklaus North and in between the two were million dollar homes and shiny new cars.

-Australians obviously love Canada. I did not speak to a single service person (golf course, restaurants, shops in village) that was without an Australian accent.

-Whistler is filled with two kinds of people: Wealthy people and ski bums.

-A nice view and well maintained cuts can make a boring layout still a great golf course. There was little to no contour to the course and I was still in awe.

-Small things count. At the turn on Saturday, a course manager made small talk with us at the tee box as any nice guy would. When we were eating on the deck after our round, he came over and gave us each a gold Nicklaus North coin. It didn't take much effort, he just gave it to us as a token of thanks. That solidified the positive vibe of the course.

-Bears aren't as easy to find as bear shit.

-Chipmunks will steal your food right out of your cart. If it weren't for my affinity for Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers, I may have murdered one after snatching my muffin or taking huge bites out of my apple.

-On vacation with co-workers, HR is clearly not a concern.

-"Guys Weekend" premise is to get away... From work, from family, from reality...  but you often end up talking about them most of the weekend.

-Border agents typically aren't that jovial.

-My luck at the border is a sign that I should not traffic narcotics.

-I'm lucky and glad to be home.

Urban Float - Fremont : The Rabbit Hole

For a while now I've been itching to get into an isolation tank. For those of you unfamiliar with the practice, you essentially get into a tank of water for a form of meditation. Whooooa, pump your breaks everyone who instantly got skeptical of investing some time to read this... It was an experience I believe is worth sharing.

An isolation tank or a "sensory deprivation tank", is literally a tank of water. The water is treated with so much salt that the natural buoyancy is such that you literally have to put in zero effort to float. The water is body temperature so your skin does not need to use it's senses. Once enclosed, it is entirely black so your eyes do not have to use any of their senses. Also, aided by a set of ear plugs, your tank is typically near soundproof so your ears also use near none of their senses. This allows your mind to truly decompress.

The concept seems pretty simple, turn off all your accessories and the entirety of your brain power can be dedicated to thought.

I was turned on to the idea by one of my favorite comedians, Joe Rogan. He enjoys the tank so much that he had one installed in his house. I'm not against that idea. My wife had heard me talk about it a hundred times so for my birthday she bought me a session at Urban Float in Fremont.

The shop was right on Fremont Ave by the bridge, so I found myself a marginally legal parking spot and walked down to the shop. Upon entering I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it was. Light colored wood and dark tiles covered the room. A pretty lady looked up as I walked in and she was incredibly friendly. Honestly I was a little worried that I'd walk into a Hippy Hotel with lots of Converse and skinny jeans, but it just felt like a place to relax.

I checked in, she gave me a couple forms to fill out and told me to go upstairs and enjoy something to drink while my room was prepared. I walked upstairs in a pleasantly quiet building and came across what looked like the bachelor pad I would create if I was going for that "this furniture is not Ikea" vibe. The decor and lighting was soft and warm, colors that just invited you to stop giving a shit for a while. There was a water cooler and a beverage cooler. The beverage cooler had Pelligrino's and coconut water with a sign that said 'take what you want and pay up front'. In today's day and age, it's refreshing to see some trust in a business.

Right on time a guy greeted me upstairs and asked that I follow him to my room. When we got to the room I was instantly comfortable. There was a single shower with body wash, shampoo and conditioner all provided with instructions to shower before and after your float. He walked me through the routine. They play 10 minutes of music to lead you down the rabbit hole, then you get 45 minutes of silence, followed by 5 minutes of music to guide you out of the rabbit hole. He offered his opinions on preferences for the float, where to find various items like the light, call button and fresh water in case I got some salt water in my eyes. He looked me in the eye and genuinely directed me to enjoy myself.

Hopping into a swanky dark tiled shower with a huge rain shower head, I washed up and got in. I opted for the float pod vs the float room just because I thought they looked cooler, but the popular comment from friends I told about my pending adventure was that they'd be closterphobic. That's not typically one of my phobia's so I got in and closed that hatch immediately. There was a soft blue light in there so it doesn't feel like you just fell down a well. The water was body temperature as it should be, but as a guy who just got out of a hot shower, that was a little faulty at first. I lied back and began floating. It was as easy as advertised.

About 5 minutes in, I decided to get froggy and turn off the light. Fuck. It was dark in there! If I'm being honest, I did get a little anxious at that point. Your orientation really disappears when you're floating effortlessly. The pod wasn't big enough that I didn't occasionally float lightly into a wall, but somehow, with me jostling to itch my nose or put my arms back, I did not bump into the walls very much. Needless to say I had to manage that bit of anxiety if I actually wanted to relax.

Just as Joe Rogan had described so many times, it took me about 10-15 minutes before I was really comfortable in there. Trying to relax I had my eyes shut, but I realized that it was so dark that open or shut it was the exact same. It's an eerie feeling to have your eyes open and see absolutely nothing. Not even my hands when they were inches from my face.

As I stared at the ceiling I began seeing light waves as if the light bouncing off the ripples of water were reflecting off the ceiling of the pod. Only there was no light to reflect? Realizing this, it occurred to me that my brain was slightly hallucinating. No dragons or orange turtles swimming by, but with zero light I was still seeing something. The light waves soon turned to space. Faint clusters of stars, but that same beautiful blackness that is space. Yes, I'm a bit of a space nerd.

I floated there with an odd excitement that wasn't as physical as it was mental. My brain started racing, trying to capture ideas or revelations on topics that I'd always wondered about. For a moment I was treating this session like I was about to meet the Wizard of Oz and he was just aching to answer any cosmic questions I may have. But as I recognized the Daytona 500 of thoughts shooting through my synapses, I decided to take a deep breath and clear my head.

Admiring the view of what seemed like undiscovered constellations I found my brain starting to wander. It was almost like when you realize you're in a dream. All of the sudden something popped into my head so seamlessly that it felt less like an epiphany and more like I realized something I had known all along. Without getting too detailed, let's just say I've been writing a sci-fi book on and off for a handful of years and I've recently gotten it to a point where I'm ready to finish it but I feel like it needed a little more string to weave the story a little tighter and I'll be damned if there wasn't a big old ball of string unwinding for me.

Feeling like I was in a conference room with a group of writers trading ideas, I found myself saying "what if he did this?" , "what if he found out that?", "what if they went here?"... It was amazing. I'm generally really good at thinking of ideas, it's the whole aspect of retaining said ideas that has always escaped me if I'm without a pen and paper. So I just stuffed those ideas into my brain like a chipmunk would do with nuts. Just as I realized that I may have found that missing piece to my story, the 5 minute warning music slowly came on.

I sat there floating, reflecting on how it was possible that my brain just shit out so many golden ideas and I smiled. I was so eager to get out and make notes, that I was in and out of the shower before that 5 minute warning music finished. They had fresh towels and a nice bench to get dressed on, so although I was eager to start jotting down my notes, I made the decision to take my time and let it soak in.

They advise you to go upstairs after your float and have a cup of tea and chill for a few minutes. So that's what I did. I made myself a nice lemon chamomile tea and sat on that comfortable couch. I couldn't type the words into my phone fast enough. While writing I developed a couple more ideas to note. I was just grinning ear to ear.

I entered into this not really hoping for some physical cure, I was more looking for a mental treatment. And boy did I get it. I honestly think if I were a professional writer, actor or some big wig CEO, that regular access to a tank would be invaluable. My mind was in creativity mode, but I have no doubt that whatever things you want to exercise out of that cranium of yours, can be done with sessions in the tank. It was as if my brain was filled with knots of thoughts developed from day to day life and the tank allowed those knots to loosen so I could sort them out. This was only my first session, so there is much to explore still, but I'll be damned if that's my last session. The guy up front even said they would be opening a store about 5 minutes from my house this spring. That made me even happier.

Urban Float made the experience simple, easy and comfortable. I highly recommend it to everyone to try at least once. It may not be your cup of tea, but in today's fast paced world, I think you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. You may find life down the rabbit hole to be more fulfilling than you think.

Accountability

Accountability... It sort of seems like a rare quality these days. You grow up seeing people rise to a position of authority and as kids we were taught to respect these people blindly. We're not given reasons to respect them, the reasoning was often more just a "because". Whether it was a teacher, parent or coach, we were all just supposed to respect them. Forget the fact that one may be addicted to pills, one may be having an affair and the other is a degenerate gambler.

As I got older I began questioning things a little more; analyzing life in a deeper manner. I had a professor in college once tell me that the key to obtaining knowledge is as easy making the decision to never stop asking questions. And in what seemed like a simple exercise, became something more. I naturally question everything now, even the most inane things interest me. Sometimes I think the overbearing amount of questions I pose to myself and others has turned me into a cynic, but I'm also grateful to not be blinded by this horrendous web of deceit we call the media. It's a little scary to consider the fact that not everyone is as objective when consuming the garbage in the media and these same people can vote.

Accountability and integrity used to go hand in hand. Those qualities were a common gauge for judging a person's character. Nowadays though, accountability is more about what is provable and not. A man could get charged with murder who is clearly guilty, but in exchange for information or simply a signed confession that saves the tax payers money, these people can plead down to lesser charges. I understand the practicality of this kind of example, but what kind of precedent does that set for our society?

Murder is an extreme example to use and I'm not interested in debating your rights as an American, I simply wanted to convey that the lack of accountability today is a symptom of a greater flaw in our society. What that flaw is, I couldn't pin down at this moment, but I promise you at the top of Shit's Peak it is somehow tied to money.

I rant because of what I saw on the news this morning. In February, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice was caught on camera dragging his unconscious fiance out of an elevator in Atlantic City. It was clear some Tom Foolery had occurred and the incident was "investigated". This matter was investigated both by the police and the NFL... I say investigated with a serious tone of sarcasm.

A high profile athlete was caught on camera in what seemed to be the aftermath of an assault. The footage that the media showed the public initially was an angle outside of the elevator. Rice emerged from the elevator dragging his then fiance like a roll of carpet. It seemed pretty clear that Rice had somehow been the reason she was knocked out but nobody saw him actually do it.

In hindsight I'm disappointed in myself for not recognizing the bullshit league response at the time.

When Solange Knowles tried putting an ass whoopin on Jay Z, the elevator footage was readily available for the public. I'm guessing that a hotel in Atlantic City that an NFL super star would frequent would have camera's in the elevator as well. So when the investigation was happening, how is it that they wouldn't request to see any relevant footage? Whether they did or didn't, it's a huge problem.

If this footage was previously unavailable as all the mouthpieces are claiming right now, wouldn't this hotel get hit with obstruction of justice? What does "unavailable" mean? Was the server down? Was the head of security on vacation in Mexico? Besides, what would they gain by withholding that tape? Bottom line is that the people in front of the microphones during this fiasco don't get to the positions they are in by being stupid. There is no way in hell that this footage was not seen.

The motive? Ha. #Money

Ray Rice is not only a key piece to a team that won the Super Bowl two seasons ago, but he is a powerful commodity of the NFL. Ray Rice had a respectable reputation in a city that needs a strong black role model, revealing the truth would only hurt the public...

Now, I'm speculating obviously, but regardless of the reasons for the cover up, it was wrong. The NFL handed down a two game suspension to Rice while fellow NFL player Josh Gordon was being suspended an entire season because he tested positive for marijuana; A drug that is both not a performance enhancing drug and is actually completely legal in two of the twenty-two states the league operates in. I'm pretty sure hitting anyone is illegal in all 50 states in the union.

I'm happy to report that the public did throw a pretty big fit about the suspension comparisons. The problem is that the league found a way to bury the story enough to where it was less of an actual issue and more of another topic to fill their own networks with discussion material. And now here we are.

While the team terminated Ray Rice's contract, I'm here to name a few more people who still need to be held accountable if we're to consider this situation 'dealt with appropriately'. Because there are two possible scenarios here and they apply to just about everyone involved. There is no better summarization than a line from the movie Casino. Tangiers boss Sam Rothstein had just fired the nephew of the Las Vegas Gaming Commissioner after allowing a string of jackpots to go off on a few slot machines within a few minutes, "Either he's in on it or he's incompetent, either way he's gone."

At the top of my list is the police chief in charge of the criminal investigation. You are either dirty or you suck at your job. Second on that list is NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. This piece of shit interviewed Ray Rice's fiance regarding that evening with RAY IN THE ROOM.

"Go ahead ma'am, please speak open and honestly about how that man right next to you may or may not have hit you on that evening in Atlantic City." Wink Wink

What a piece of shit.

That's not even worth expanding on. Any man that would ask a woman to finger their fiance as a person who has physically harmed her while in their presence is a complete scumbag. That isn't an error in judgement, that's an error in character.

Finally, I'd like to have Ozzie Newsome and any other Ravens personel fired for covering it up as well. I saw an interview with Coach John Harbaugh and I know he's not stupid, but his eyes told me that he never actually saw the video... I guarantee he knew what happened but not actually seeing the tape is a matter of plausible deniability, but Jesus, where is the line drawn?

The reason why accountability is my topic of discussion is that all parties involved were accountable to exactly what they had to be. Too many people saw Ray Rice that night to sweep it completely under the rug. But since Joe Shmo who can email the story to TMZ does not have access to elevator surveillance, it wasn't something they had to be accountable to. Not surprisingly the video leaked and now everyone involved is playing the accountability card.

As the story went, it was always implied that Ray Rice somehow knocked his fiance unconscious and it wasn't until the video went viral that they deemed it necessary to cut him. Seeing the video was more powerful than just hearing the story, but between two months ago when the suspension was handed down and now, the story is essentially the same, it's just now they have visual evidence of it. To suggest otherwise is just disrespectful. There would be NO reason to suspend Ray Rice unless it was understood that he hit her. You don't get a two game suspension for an accident.

So while all of the people involved are now trying to play the accountability card, what will happen next? Will they be held accountable or will we allow them to sweep this under the rug? The one thing all of these people have in common is power. Police Chief, League Commissioner or team General Manager, all have a lot to lose... The problem is, they have even more to gain by hiding these types of issues. And until our society remembers to value accountability and integrity to the point where we will not allow these shit heads to dictate what is a just punishment, we will continue to experience these heinous symptoms of a larger problem in society.

White River Amphitheater Oddball Comedy Fest

For our 5th anniversary I bought a pair of tickets to The Oddball Comedy Festival. It was at White River Amphitheater in Auburn, Washington and I must say that although the show was great, I've decided that the venue is the worst in the state.

It being a celebration of 5 years with my wife, I had hoped to have a seamless evening of entertainment but WRA was doing everything in their power to fuck that up. As is the case with most venues, beer and wine could be purchased anywhere, but liquor had a designated area. I have fairly recently developed an allergy to beer and wine, which at first was incredibly sad, but that's not the point. Because of these allergies, liquor is my only option if I want to loosen up before the show; this means whatever shit-show of a crowd exists in the designated area, I get to deal with them.

Firstly, to get into the liquor area you needed a wrist band. A line had seemingly developed outside of the 'spirits lounge' to get the wrist band. Only there were zero signs explaining the rules, so it was total pandemonium outside of this building. To figure out the drill you just had to hear people around you discussing what they had learned. The people handing out the wrist bands were about as helpful as Scotch tape on a submarine hull which was is annoying in itself.

Secondly, once we sat in a 10 minute line to acquire our wrist bands, we soon found out that there were dozens of people handing out the wrist bands and that even though you show your ID to get one, you still must show your ID at the door to this building AND when you buy your beverages. Besides wanting to handout ugly wrist bands, what's the point? And again, no signs anywhere explaining what to do. In my head the head cheese of this malfunction of an event looked exactly like 80's WWF wrestler, Lou Albano and he surely had a stain on his shirt somewhere.

Every single line for drinks was 20+ minutes and it wasn't even that busy. Some places took cards, some only took cash. Again there were no signs, so more than once did I see people get to the front of a 20 minute line only to find out this particular booth was cash only and they only had plastic. Oh and as I understand it, two of the ATM machines ran out of money.

They were hosting 8 nationally touring headliners, but I began to wonder if they knew that.

Once we got our $14 margaritas (that were actually large and delicious), we realized we could not leave the building with liquor. We proceeded to expedite our delicious beverages into our bellies, then making our way out to the food area where we sat in line again for another 20+ minutes. At this point we had spent a majority of our time at this festival standing in line. But eventually we had our drinks consumed, our food consumed and fresh beverages for the beginning of the show.

I splurged a little on these tickets both because it was our anniversary and because comedy is a unique form of entertainment where outdoor spaces are not always that great so I wanted to be relatively close. The good news is that from the point where we walked to and from our seats, the event was FLAWLESS. Even short lines for the men's room which is always a major plus.

The comedians were great. I mean, I would've been shocked if it went any differently because the festival consisted of eight headlining comics. The Roast Master himself, Jeff Ross was the host of the show with his newly bald headedness and as expected he delivered. It was awesome to him at work in person. You always see him ripping people on TV but the timing and skill is beautiful in person. We saw Demitri Martin who once had a decently funny show on Comedy Central that got canceled a while back. His style of setup, punch, setup, punch is always pretty funny but can get old if not done well enough. He did great! I may have laughed the hardest during his set.

Hannibal Burress, Whitney Cummings and Chris Hardwick all came in with a solid 15-20 minute set and the last part of the show was two 30 minute sets from Sarah Silverman and Aziz Ansari. Sarah took her set into the crowd and even found herself cuddled up with a 60 something year old lady who somehow found her way to the front row of this huge show. Aziz did what Aziz does and got excited and insightful; People ate that shit up as expected. Then with a great 1 hour set, I finally got to see Louis CK. All of the comics we saw were comedians I would likely pay to see by themselves, but Louis was on my bucket list.

I've now seen the likes of Kevin Hart in a small club, we've been 5th row to a Dane Cook arena show and now I got to see one of the greatest comedians of this generation. Besides football, I think comedy is my favorite genre of entertainment, so the night was magical inside that amphitheater.

Eventually the show had to end though. Our good seats gave us a great opportunity to exit quickly and we made it to our car relatively fast. Then it happened... Nothing. The parking lot was literally at a standstill for 30-40 minutes before I decided that vehicular manslaughter was a feasible option. A lot of people were in line to leave but a lot of people were just milling around their cars waiting for the crowds to disperse. All of the sudden I saw some people creating their own exit path behind us. It was a clear path and could've been easily manged by one half-wit with a flash light. Instead people went all apocolypse and made their own rules... Long story still pretty long, White River Amphitheater was an absolute disappointment.

There wasn't enough people serving food and drinks but the jerk offs in blue shirts with walkie-talkies with the volume at full blast during the show were everywhere doing next to nothing. Among the hundreds of cars there were zero people directing traffic.  And as we sat in the chaos for an hour I pictured the venue head honcho 'Lou Albano' doing coke in the tour bus with an AV guy from Stage B. I was so surprised at how shitty things were being run that I even considered that maybe I was just in a bad mood, but when Hannibal Burress made it a point to mention how incompetent the venue staff was, I knew I was not tripping.

All in all, the show was phenomenal. I just have zero desire to ever go back to White River Amphitheater unless I get a helicopter ride in. So while I laughed my ass off for a solid few hours, the venue clearly is not concerned with training anyone. Since openly complaining about this on Facebook I see I'm not the only one with this disdain for White River but also that there is a decent shuttle option to get in and out swiftly. But forgetting the fact that these options exist, I can't stand any company that will take my money but won't have the decency to pretend they give a shit that I'm there.

Overall it was a great evening with my beautiful wife and we just have another story to discuss during our anniversary next year when we're celebrating somewhere else. To five years.

Transcendence: Childish Gambino - Because the Internet

I'm a fan of entertainment. TV, movies, sports, stand up, music, anything... And as a guy who considers himself pretty creative I understand how hard it is to commit to a creatively driven craft and excel. So when you see guys transcend one genre for another, it's impressive. We've seen lots of people do it; From Shaq taking his skills in the post to the recording booth and many Hollywood sets to Will Smith turning his silly raps into a mega star acting career.. But of all those that have tried, who failed and who has done it well?

Though he's found his niche in small bit parts of Hollywood, I think we can consider Shaq a failure for transcending a genre. He was great in one arena and not so great in the others mediums. Eddie Murphy went from stand up juggernaut to Hollywood super star but then he got a little too froggy and tried doing an album. He's not a terrible singer, but 100% fuck no Eddie. Even the greatest basketball player of all time "retired" from basketball to try his hand at baseball. Again, I think we can all agree that his Airness belongs on the hardwoods.

Then there is one of my surprisingly favorite entertainers of all time--- Justin Timberlake.

JT started in the Mickey Mouse club then he moved onto boy band member where he snagged up Britney Spears when she was still a catch. At that point he was an annoying teen heart throb like Beiber, The Jonas Brothers or those One Direction kids. They all are or were on a short list of 'children I would punch'. But once JT left the boy band and started standing up to piss, he began his ascension to legitimate stardom. His music was not really my flavor, but it was still good music, and it was when he hosted SNL that cemented my respect for the man. His timing is phenomenal and add music and dancing to it, he's the kind of triple threat we haven't seen in a very long time. I honestly think he's our generation's Frank Sinatra. Ol' Curly Hair. But I think he is just a born entertainer and he enjoys every second of it.

However, for guys like Justin Timberlake and Shaq, it almost feels like they had the advantage; They were great in one arena and easily given the opportunity to try other avenues of entertainment. Although I don't knock their work ethic, they didn't exactly risk everything to leave their comfort zone and pursue their dreams. The guys that seem like they grind their way into the circles are the ones I really admire. Maybe it's because their love for their art is so glaringly obvious.

Love him or hate him, Ashton Kutcher was smart enough to be a corporate success but he up and moved from Iowa to Hollywood and made things happen for himself. We all know Puffy and Jay Z's rise to the top of their self made empires. Guys like Mos Def and Common got hot on the streets with their music then took it as a challenge to be great at acting too. Neither are Oscar worthy yet, but they're both respectable actors. In all these success stories, one thing seems to be common- a passion for their craft.

Recently I ran across some music that I liked only to find out it is from a comedic actor that I really enjoy. The former NBC comedy 'Community' was about a group of community college students that found themselves in the most bizarre scenarios. From school sized pillow fort wars to a nefarious Trade School Dean trying to take over the school. It was like if the Muppet Babies went to college.

One of the actors from the show's name is Donald Glover. He also goes by the rap name Childish Gambino. He is clearly a talented actor that reminds me of Andy Samberg and like Andy Samberg, Glover wasn't a household name but he was a cult favorite. And they both thrived on the niche that they built for themselves.

 Loving his character on Community, anything I saw with him in it, I tried to consume. Just as Samberg and his friends took it upon themselves to write and produce Hot Rod, Donald Glover and company did a light hearted comedy about a kid mystery solving team. Absurd but hilarious and that is just my speed.

I eventually ran across a stand up special he did and was impressed. Going from stand up to acting is one thing, but going from acting to stand up is a whole different can of worms. It was clear he was new to the avenue but had lots of potential because he liked making people laugh. Then I came across one of his albums.

"Because the Internet" is an odd, upbeat and feel good hip hop album. It was not the traditional album with fifteen three-verse songs, but it felt almost like an opera following a young up-and-coming artist trying to find his way through the weekend. I don't mean that in a bad way either, it was actually pretty refreshing. You could feel his soul in the music. That is art.

Then there's guys like Kanye who yells some bullshit over a beat that sounds like a computer and garbage truck are copulating and calls it the greatest art of our generation because he thinks we really value his opinion that much. But what made his latest "album" so bad was that it had no coherence. I think he is becoming so arrogant and greedy that he thought he could shit in your ears and make money doing it.

 Because the Internet felt seamless.

It was so different and unpredictable that you couldn't always tell when one song ended and another began. It weirded me out at first, but I eventually found myself addicted to it. If you're looking for that traditional 15 track hip hop album, you'll probably be a little bugged by this album, but if you're a Talib Kweli or Mos Def fan that is open minded to untraditional hip hop, I feel like you'd enjoy it. It surely has that Westcoast feel to it too. He has clean lyrics both slow and smooth as well as fast and crisp. Content is not about gang banging or killing guys who don't respect him, it literally is what I would picture a good Molly trip at the club would be like. Not so weird that sober you can't vibe with it, but so eclectic that you never fall into a lull.

The thing I liked was he would jump from some crazy overloaded beat to a smooth song with excellent vocals from features like Jhene Aiko (who is quickly becoming a favorite of mine) and even laying good harmonies himself on songs like 3005. Never once did I feel like he was making a song because he thought the album needed a particular style intertwined within the stuff he actually enjoyed making- it was all about him expressing himself... And he's funny. I almost liken him to a hip hop version of Tenacious D. Gifted musicians putting a comedic twist to the music.

All in all, this album isn't going to win Grammy's but much like his acting career, I think it will find a following and gain a stronghold among the alternative rap libraries of the future. I know this album will not be everyone's cup of tea, but whether or not this fits my prototypical hip hop profile, it is unique.. Which at my age is a beautiful thing to experience. I think when you don't have the bright light on you it's a little easier to go in the direction you want because there is a lot less expectation, but not everyone has the balls to risk that. Some people are so worried that people won't like it that they tinker with it until it sounds like every other album on iTunes.

In my opinion, Donald Glover has found a way to do well in acting, music and stand up. He's hardly elite at any of these things, but he is darn near great in all three. My personal opinion is that because he truly enjoys each manner of entertainment, he'll never have to worry about getting good because that's just the natural result of practicing.

Though passion alone will not supercede lack of talent, transcending a genre is possible if you can just let go of the wheel and start creating.